Well, it's done. I 'stache no more. I'd like to extend one final "thank you" for your generosity... together we've raised $626 for inner-city schools and funded three classroom projects. There's now a nice, clean reading rug in Ms. R's 1st grade classroom, Ms. T has supplemental materials for students who finish their work quickly, and Ms. M has a collection of science books at various reading levels for her special needs students. Job well done.
On a more grandiose scale, the M4K Chicago chapter raised $28,441, and nationally the organization topped $296,500. Look at what a month's worth of mustache can do!
Today's update follows the usual format, except in lieu of Mustache Microscope I've added a very special video grand finale.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.
Mugshot
Lip Service
Tuesday was the M4K 'Stache Bash, and I'm thrilled to announce that my excellent 'stache and I won the "Wednesday's Mustache" award! The honor is bestowed upon "the mustache that needed one more day." The prize was a tube of spiking glue to help augment the wimpy whiskers. So while my mustache may now officially be the worst in the biz, that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun with it.
Spiked 'stache.
And snow 'stache.
'Stache Stats
# of Hairs = 225, rough count
Avg. Length of Hair = 1/2 in.
Total Mustache Growth (TMG) = 112.5 in.
Grand Total: 9 feet, 4.5 inches of mustache! If you need a visual, picture Jordan dunking on it.
Awesome, no?
We'd like to also thank the folks at Cal-Berkley for time on their supercomputer. In exchange for their wonderful forecasting services throughout the growing season, they've asked me to conduct a poll to see which iteration my donors feel best matches my final mustache. They will use this feedback to improve their alogrithms for future work, so your vote counts!
The Grand Finale
Of course, we couldn't say farewell without concluding the tale of Ol' Cool Hand. As you may have feared, things didn't end well for our follicle friend. Cool Hand, you gave us hope. You will not soon be forgotten.
And that's that. Thanks for tuning in.
Sincerely,
Matt "Mo Staches Mo Problems"
NOTE: This blog will continue to be active, serving as a space for my personal musings. Feel free to stop by from time to time.
No comments:
Post a Comment